08 May, 2011

The question.

It's been a while, and I had planned for it to be longer still, but I watched my movie, the one that inspires me most, again: Eat, Pray, Love.

I'm quickly nearing the end of my high school career, five days left of the only life I've known. Then come summer, then college, and the pattern continues, but that is only five years of my life. The question now is, what do I want to do with my life? I've always said I want to be a teacher, get married, have children, raise them, etc., but isn't that what most everyone says? Picket fence, logical, easy. A job that will always be needed, secure someone to take care of me, continue the race. Life in the U.S. That's what I envision for myself, but that's not really what I want for myself. I want to spend my life somewhere else. Seeing the world, not as a tourist, but as a local. Stay in one place until I'm tired of it or until I feel in my heart it is time to move on, then go somewhere else. That's what I really want. I want to eat what I like and not care that I gain several pounds. I want to study religion, all religions. I want to find God or some faith that is perfectly right for me. I want to study the old ways of every country or town or area I visit. I want to meet people, friends that become family, all over the globe. I want to fall in love, repeatedly, with new people, strangers, or with the same person. I want to go create myself. I want to get into the world. I want to help new members of my family if they need it. I want to find my word. I want to be at peace. Truly, happily at peace. While I know it's a long shot, and it's probably impossible, it's what I want. And there's no reason not to dream.

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